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How does it feel?
Further to yesterday's post hereiamattheedgeblogspotcouk.wordpress.com/2017/08/12/muscular-dystrophy/. I will tell you how my legs feel, imagine the feeling when you pop the bubbles on bubble wrap, or a slight electric shock, that is the occasional feeling, the majority of the time my legs feel as if I am standing waist deep in acid.
No more coffee
For years he wondered if his writing was fueled by his coffee drinking, or did he have a warped mind that caused him to write weird stories?
For weeks after the fire, he survived on coffee, no food, just vast amounts of coffee to drive his aching body. Then one day, his body decided he'd had enough and refused to take more. It was weeks before he could even enjoy the smell of coffee again, and months before he had his next cup of coffee - which he did not enjoy.
It seemed strange to his friends that from having five or six cups of coffee a day, he'd cut back to one cup a day. His body rejected coffee to the extent he began drinking only tea again, for the first time in over 35 years.
Do we dream? Yes
The question is, do we recall our dreams? For this writer, he was plagued by his dreams for years, to the extent, he had to force himself to block his dreams.
Now he cannot recall any of his dreams for more than a night, or two, if that
The lack of caffeine has done little to ease insomnia, but at least he isn't plagued by his dreams - sadly - his writing has suffered
is this the end?
I often think I am like the character Carl Kolchak, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kolchak:_The_Night_Stalker, as the majority of my writing is never seen.
In the words of Hunter S. Thompson, I am a vagrant journalist https://hereiamattheedge.blogspot.co.uk/2015/12/i-am-vagrant-journalist.html#.WYHUG4grLIU.
After being a semi-successful writer of #scifi hereiamattheedge.blogspot.co.uk/2016/10/without-forgestriker.html#.WYHY24grLIU, I have dropped to being a blogger like many thousands of teens who blog about pop music – how the mighty have fallen.
The next step
The phrase "the next step" is full of irony for me, as my next step is to buy a wheelchair.
My right ankle is so weak, my future is one day out, two days in, a long way from the days when I used to travel.
I knew this day would come, and I think I have prepared myself but the loss of mobility still stings for somebody used to traveling.
There are some series not to my taste
I have seen Noir TV series from all over Europe. Honestly, the only ones I can’t get into are ones from Norway and Finland. The Icelandic series sometimes take a while to click but the Norwegian and Finnish series I cannot get into, whether this is because both countries have a border with Russia is hard o define. It could be the style of acting that grates with me, as none of the characters appear likable to me.
I have returned from an appointment at the doctors with the knowledge that my BP is back to normal.
I can only put this down to a matter of supreme mind control on my part, as my life is anything but normal at the moment.
My life has taken a turn for the worse this week with news that my right ankle is likely to give way at any time, meaning I can't go the long walks I needed for escape from feeling trapped, now I feel more trapped than I did before.
To me, normal would mean a feeling that either life has stopped being a struggle against depression, feeling I have got to a level where it no longer matters to me, or that I no longer care about living this life.
In short, only in death would my life become normal as I have so many family issues always on my mind.
The day is here
I had a feeling the day was close, and it IS here. My right ankle is so painful I cannot put my weight on it, so my last ramble was hereiamattheedge.blogspot.co.uk/2017/07/chew-valley.html#.WXe-gLIrLrc.
I fought this day off for seventeen years, knowing any day could be my last, finally the Lord decided it is my time.
I am glad I had the time I did have and the opportunity to see what I did, but somethings are inevitable and my RAF injury caught up with me.
As I am not doing a lot of writing these days, this will give me the opportunity to restore my collection of cd's to the memory on my USB stick.
You have probably heard that #Israel has cut power to the Gaza Strip,the reason is that the the PA is NOT paying their bills.
Can any company afford a loss of $11,000 a month?
On whose request are the cuts being made?
Before you rush to condemn Israel, remember it is Abbas and HAMAS who told them to turn the power off.
The $1 a week writer
On the bus yesterday were two Mormon young ladies, I had to smile to myself as years ago I was asked if I'd donate 1/3 of my wages to the church.
I thought, "You're welcome to all my earnings as a writer, but you get far on $1 a week."
A place to read generalisms of my thoughts, some book related and others general chatter.