Friends keep telling me I am a good writer of short stories, that might be true but none are selling.
I keep being told I have achieved a lot of ground in a short space of time, with thousands of daily blogs and good reader figures-boo rah-I keep saying any teen who has a laptop/pc or Ipad does that-it proves nothing to me.
Am I like the moth flying close to the candle, or Icarus flying to close to the sun? Am I too close to the work, to see what its value is, or did I wish for too much, too soon?
I didn't wish for fame and glory, that would be folly too think I could have made a living; I would have been more than happy too sell 10 e-books in one month before I end the journey next month, sadly it won't happen.
I made a lot of good friends who helped keep me going in the dark hours, too those who know me-I say a huge thank you.
THE TURNING POINT
I keep coming back to that FB contest, because the ramifications are enormous and are still reverberating.
A GOOD DEFENCE
If you watch NFL, you are used to the defensive tactic of allowing the offence to gain ground late in the game, but denying them the touch lines to stop play and plan a move. That is what happened here, the person I beat in the contest, accepted the small loss for the greater gain of denying my work the chance to thrive and she got her goal.
I look back and see a trail of what might have been; an award winning book which never sold again, the follow up story-which never sold, months of work being thrown away and to what point?
Cynical or not, after two years I still have the same view as I did last year; the only ways to sell books are:-
Jump on a trend-Look how many followed E L James or write zombie stories.
Pay for the publicity-Great, if you can spare the cash and I can't.
Kiss an ego-I tried once and failed, anyway what is selling the book? Your story, or their name?
As H.P. Lovecraft found out, original thoughts won't sell books, good as my writing is and original as my ideas are; I paid the ultimate price-failure in the most abject and horrible style.
I knew bad writers who sell more books in a month than I do in years, because they write fanfiction-sadly I don't watch a lot of TV these days; so, I can't get into the plots like they do.
In this story, the finale' is this dream should have stayed as a dream. Even if it left me with the thought "What if I had tried?" I know the answer-You are not as good as you thought we might have been-but I tried.