The struggles of a writer
It is hard to put into words how I felt when I completed the book after 14 months as I cannot explain it. The feelings were not relief at the completion of 14 months work or joy at filling out a new romantic ghost story. The best way to describe them would be dread at the thought of another disaster and the thought of nothing after this book.
I wish to continue but if this fails to sell, is there a point in continuing? I hold the opinion that writers and film stars share the same cross if you strike out three times you are forgotten, and this is my third strike.
My debut book on Amazon over four years ago is Pat Canella (The Dockland Murders), this is yet to sell. I followed the book with the Chronicles of Mark Johnson disaster -- an award-winner -- which never sold after the award, and now here I stand after eleven months work, wondering if the vagrancies of the reading public will grant me one slight success or doom me to a third strike.
Both the Pat Canella series of three books and the two Mark Johnson books are no longer on sale.
As much as I try to maintain a standard of writing, for what pittance I get through sales, I could make more like a street beggar. For the price of coffee, you expect Chekhov www.theguardian.com/books/2013/mar/01/anton-chekhov-lifetime-lovers-play or Pushkin www.poetryloverspage.com/poets/pushkin/pushkin_ind.html. Fourteen months work for $3, that is all I ask. Would you work for such low wages? And yet you expect me to.
Each day I ask myself, why bother? Nobody cares. My good friend and editor, Julia, keeps telling me am I a great story-teller and yet the lack of sales show your disregard for my work.
Honestly, I am at the end of my tether as I have tried most genres, including erotica and zombies, and nothing has sold. I don't know where to go or what to write as nobody bought anything I wrote last year.
I have many story ideas but is there any point in continuing if nobody is interested in them?