Too close for comfort
At the time, I was writing over 10,000 words a week with ease. During the early stages of the enforced break I was on edge as writing was my addiction.
I returned after two weeks off, feeling better for the rest.
Two years ago, I made the conscious decision to slow down. Nor for fear of a repeat incident but because I realised that I was worrying about thing over which I had no control.
The new mind set came in three stages:-
Step 1 - I realised that despite what I thought - or was told - there is little hope of getting anywhere, even if I am a bestseller (other people's view).
Step 2 - I needed to separate my sub-conscious mind from my conscious mind. At the time, my mind was filled with stories brought on by vivid dreams that I planned to write up. This thought pattern I succeeded in doing to the extent that my ideas are rarely recalled for more than a day or two.
Step 3 - I realise now, no matter what I think of my worth as a writer or my work - it doesn't matter. I came to understand that worrying over something that I have no control over like sales is a waste of time.
In the long run, I stopped caring, one of the primary reasons for this condition is that over the years I have been lied to so often, I no longer believe it when people say they'll buy my books.